Mediation is a constructive, efficient strategy for divorcing couples to reach mutual agreements that will be carried on after the divorce is final. Divorce mediation provides separating couples with a safe space to discuss arrangements facilitated by a neutral third party. How you come to the mediation table can make a big difference on whether you and your spouse are able to come up with an effective solution. These attributes are useful ways of being in a successful divorce mediation:


This is perhaps the most difficult skill to achieve, especially for those who are naturally want things completed now—or even yesterday, but patience is extremely important. Divorce is a process no matter which road you take to the final verdict. Divorce mediation is most often the quickest way to resolution. But remember you can only go as fast as the slowest participant is able to go. Remaining patient is critical in coming up with the best possible solution through the help of a mediator.

Be realistic

You may think that having full custody of your children is the ideal situation for you, but it’s not realistic. Taking all the money and running isn’t plausible, either.

Divorce mediation is a process that can help you to optimize outcomes, and for you to come up with a plan that will benefit all parties involved, but you still need to be realistic.


Keep an open mind during mediation. Suggestions and issues might arise that you had not considered, and therefore adaptation is crucial. Sacrifices and compromises are sure to arise, but are necessary in a solution that works for both divorcees and the family unit as a whole. Being stubborn will make the process less effective.


Mediation is the time to be honest with yourself and the partner you’re divorcing. Being completely transparent is the only way to reach an agreement that you’ll be able to live with. Being vulnerable and honest can help open doors for more creative solutions. The decisions you reach in mediation are life changing, so say what is on your mind right up front. Don’t wait until the divorce is final to say what’s on your mind.

Be selfish, yet receptive

This divorce isn’t just about you, but it isn’t just about your ex either. It’s okay to be a little selfish—you want to make sure the final decisions will be ones that work for you. At the same time, being receptive to the other person’s needs is crucial to form a mutual agreement. In divorce mediation it is possible for clients to come up with ideas that meet their own needs as well as the needs of the other person.

Contact Whole Mediation for inquiries or to begin your mediation process.

Share This